WARNING: not safe for work LOLOL.
Darla
It turns out warm wax from them homemade kits feels like taking Trevor and Joe’s jizz, putting it into an eight ounce container, adding Elmer’s Glue and smearing it all over my butthole.
Which, for the record, was not one of the kinky things we ever did in bed. We had plenty of those stories between the three of us, but not this one.
Also—for the record—I appear to have the butthole of Sasquatch. I need to check with my mama some day and see if she cheated on my daddy and my real papa is Bigfoot, because I have more hair on my butthole than Eugene Levy has in his eyebrows.
Now, I knew this from getting all my nibbly bits waxed when the band went to the Island of Eden and I got everything stripped right off by Simone, the esthetician at Eden’s spa. But I hadn’t done it myself, see? Simone was discreet and, um, tactful. I now wondered what she thought when I spread my ass cheeks for her and a giant Brillo pad greeted her. Read more →
