My last name is No.
Walter No.
How do I know this?
Because I constantly hear, “Walter No!”
So it must be my last name.
Please come rescue me from this God-forsaken family. At first, I thought I’d hit the jackpot. Snuggles and treats and I could poop and pee on the white mat in my pen? AWESOME!!
But then they started watching puppy training videos and noooooooooooooo.
Now I have something called “rules.”
The older two Secret Snack Givers have disappeared completely. I think Julia and Clark sold them on eBay. I wish they would come back from their prisons called “college.” Julia and Clark had their first “all family Zoom call” last week and when the oldest spoke, I twitched my ears in morse code pattern that spelled out:
RESCUE ME NOW. THEY MAKE ME SIT BEFORE BEING FED. DIGNITY LOST. OBIWAN, YOU’RE MY ONLY HOPE.
But the oldest just said, “Oooo, Walter, you’re getting so big,” so I’ve now determined it’s pointless.
All hope is lost.
Kid #2 also told me I’m getting “so big,” and that’s offensive. He’s a fat shamer. Is it my fault Julia is clumsy and drops food scraps whenever she cooks?
I’m pushing eight pounds now. That is eight pounds of AWESOME. Body positive canine reporting for duty, sir!
The youngest continues to be bizarre. He climbed into my pen and locked himself in MY home the other day. Curled up in MY bed. So help me God, if he touches my food, I’ll poop in his shoe.
Hmmm. I might do that anyhow.
Today, Julia and the little one took me to a huge park in Shrewsbury, Massachusetts where I got to run and run and run. I saw other children. This is new. Julia and Clark talk about a “pandemic” and I think it’s why I don’t go places.
Or maybe it’s because I throw up every time in the car.
You’d throw up, too, if EVERY car ride meant the person in a white lab coat poked you with needles, or the other person with a razor shaved you. Hello. My reaction is NORMAL.
But this time, I didn’t throw up. Julia praised me. And I ate soooo much grass on something called a “baseball field.”
Then I came home and slept.
Maybe Julia and Clark aren’t so bad, after all.
Your canine correspondent,
Walter
p.s. Julia needs to name a cat in her book about a grumpy poison ivy pulling lumberjack. The dude owns the cat. Can you reply back with a name that isn’t, well… Walter? Because whoever named me was cruel.
—READ ON FOR BOOK GOODIES FROM WALTER—
.99 STEAMY PARANORMAL ROMANCE FROM DJ JENNINGS
He lurks in shadows and mystery at Camp Shifter, coming out only during DarkNight, the wild, bacchanalian free-for-all where anything goes.
Anything.
No one has seen him in the daylight, no one knows where he lives, no one knows his name–and the shifter nicknamed DarkLover by women, DarkDude by men, will do anything to keep it that way.
Andie Cumbington has been waiting her whole life for The Letter. One of the few shifters who is ecstatic about her newfound status, the chestnut-haired ballerina bear shifter arrives for her month at Camp Shifter with unbridled excitement. On her first DarkNight, she finds wild passion and–to her surprise–so much more, with a stranger who touches her heart as much as he lights up her body.
And then he’s gone, back into the shadows, hidden.
Exactly where he wants to be.
Craving his touch with an insatiable desire, Andie can’t let go. She always wanted the roll in the hay, but she never imagined the passion would be so intense.
Fate drives her to find love.
Then a simple errand turns into mortal danger for Andie, and an impossible choice as DarkLover must overcome his biggest fear in order to save the woman he loves.
But will it be too late?
—–
Welcome to Camp Shifter, where you’re about to change… in more ways than one.
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Add the audio for a few dollars more ~ narrated by Jeffrey Kafer and Heather Costa!
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NEW RELEASE FROM JAMI ALBRIGHT
It’s game, set, and match when this pro football player turned trainer squares off against a gorgeous tennis player with an attitude as big as Texas.
Duke Wayne returns to his hometown for one reason and one reason only—reckless pro tennis star Sienna Ramsey has lost her ever-lovin’ mind. His feisty client is ready to throw her career away in favor of a simple life.
It doesn’t get much simpler than tiny, gossipy Ryder, Texas. Duke figures a few days with the locals should have the infuriating woman begging for a stadium full of cheering fans in no time at all. But Sienna and the small town go together like fleas on a farm dog.
Duke’s plan blows up in his face when he discovers there’s more to Sienna than a smart mouth and a killer backhand. The closer they get, the harder it is to keep things professional.
What in the hell is a high-performance trainer to do when he stops thinking about his client on the court and starts fantasizing about her between the sheets?
Amazon:/KU: https://mybook.to/eGF3k
NEW RELEASE FROM BLAIR BABYLON
Jericho Parr is a tall, handsome, cocky rich guy who’s gotten everything he’s ever wanted in life with a twinkle in his devastatingly blue eyes, but he’s going to lose this time.
Newcastle Golf Club is the hub of my community. So when hunky Jericho Parr buys the club and is going to change it, I’m going to fight him every step of the way.
Fighting him would be a lot easier if Jericho wasn’t a cocky flirt who knows how dang handsome he is. With a dirty sparkle in his blue eyes and an iron determination, he’s out to change the most important parts of NGC.
When I try to reason with him, he won’t budge an inch. When I try to explain the importance of it, he smiles that dashing, mischievous grin and goes right back to work.
So I’m going to try everything to get him to listen to me.
Everything is on the table, and on his desk, and in the shady clearing behind the fifth fairway.
But he’s still working like a demon to obliterate the charming parts of NGC like he’s on a deadline.
Something else was going on with him.
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NEW RELEASE FROM GRETCHEN GALWAY
I should’ve known the birthday party for a 113-year-old witch wasn’t going to be all cake and games. Especially with so many other witches around—and that scary magic wand.
I’d been desperate for a vacation from the rain on the California coast. But instead of snow and cocoa in a cozy mountain cabin, I got… a dead body. And the murder weapon wasn’t a candlestick in the billiard room.
Looks like it’s up to me again. My one friend is a Bright witch but not much of a fighter. I used to think I, too, was harmless, but the enchanted marks on my skin tell a different story. My moral code prevents me from killing anyone, but somehow my enemies tend to end up dead.
Trapped in the spellbound mountain retreat, I have to find the killer before anyone else gets killed. Or worse.
I’ve done it before, and I’ll do it again.
Probably.
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NEW RELEASE FROM OLIVIA RIGAL & TAMARA BALLIANA
An American soldier.
Kenneth Dylan comes home to an empty house. Madison, the sister he’s raised since their parents died, has run away. She’s on a French escapade with a man named Arkady. An escapade that is turning ugly. Her last message, a call for help.
A French policewoman.
Élodie Cossa is a police officer in Cannes. Limited to desk duty after rattling the wrong cages, she’s on probation. Yet, she doesn’t hesitate to put her job on the line to help Ken look for his sister.
An irresistible attraction and a joint investigation will uncover so much more than a human trafficking network.
Book 1 in the Riviera Security series, French Escapade can be read as a standalone.
Amazon/KU: https://mybook.to/W11U
COMING ON SEPTEMBER 28TH!
Josie was not one to pray, but lately she had begun having whispered, fevered conversations with God.
With her legs up in the air and her husband’s baby paste inside her.
Please let me get pregnant. Please let me get pregnant. Please let me get pregnant.
♥♥♥
Laura turned her head away from the bathroom mirror, her eyes lasered on her smartphone, counting down the timer until she could look at the little plastic stick.
Please don’t let me be pregnant. Please don’t let me be pregnant. Please don’t let me be pregnant.
The timer dinged.
Laura looked.
Closed her eyes.
And had a whispered, fevered conversation with God, too.
♥♥♥
Eternally Complicated is the final (yes, for sure, really, no more books ever, I really mean it…) book in the long-running New York Times bestselling Her Billionaires saga. What started in 2012 as a short novella called Her First Billionaire has turned into an eight-year journey through the lives of Laura, Mike, Dylan, Laura’s best friend Josie and her love, Alex, and so many other characters (including Darla from the New York Times bestselling Random series).
As best friends Josie and Laura wrestle with very different reactions to their pregnancies, they find that one bond endures: friendship.
And with plenty of peppermint sundaes at Jeddy’s Diner, of course!
Preorder at your favorite retailer!
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Free Billionaire Romance from Laurelin Paige
Time for your September Freebie! Man in Charge by Laurelin Paige is available FREE to Billionaire Book Boyfriend Club members only through October 14th.
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